"In the midst of all the elation over the fall of communism in the Soviet Union, one important fact has been overlooked - the United States has lost its 'Bogeyman'. Without the Soviet Union, who will fuel our latest paranoia? Who will the CIA spy on? Ok - its own citizens like it always has, but now how will they justify it? Saddam Hussein of Irag? I think not. Sure, he has the look of a first class villain. But if looks were all it took, every other month we could just kick the tar out of Jack Palance. No, we need a country that not only has its own nuclear weapons, but also represents a threat to democracy. In other words, we need The United States of America. That's right - our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves. We're the logical choice. After all, who possesses the biggest danger to the American environment - we do. Who's responsible for our venal and corrupt government - we are. Besides, we could save if we were our own worst enemy - for instance, the Hotline would become a local call. And if you thought McCarthyism in the 50's was irrational, think of the fun we could have asking Americans if they are now, or have ever been An American. Done right, we could blacklist seventy-five per cent of the people working in television and film. Just think, that's all but one of the Golden Girls. So turn those missiles around 180 degrees and remember - Better Dead Than Us."
(undated)
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